Enjoy this short by Fred M. Robinson, a valued and hilarious member of the Seacoast Christian Writer's Group!
I put a bouquet of flowers in the cart for my wife's birthday. To add joy to the happy day, I sought a bottle of wine. At the wine display, the assistant manager asked if he might help. I told him my needs as he looked in my shopping cart and fluffed the flowers.
"Aha," he said, lifting a bottle. "This fine Chardonnay is the very thing for a special occasion. It has burned rubber and citrus aromas and a lip puckering, pear and green apple finish."
I shook my head and he went on. "Perhaps a red would go better with your pansy bouquet. Here's a riotous Cabernet Sauvignon with pipe tobacco and mint aromas that jump at you." He looked in my cart. "The pecan and wild cherry flavors are great with cabbage and cornbread."
I didn't reply and he picked another bottle. "This superb Merlot carries rich aromas of tree bark, chewing tobacco and chocolate, with a hint of after shave. Its spicy and slightly tannic butter rum finish, leading to ripe persimmon aftertaste, is sensuous. Shall I put it in your cart?"
I said, "Where do you keep the Muscatel?"
His face fell. "I’m sorry, Sir. We don't stock Muscatel, They say it tastes like grape juice."
--Fred M. Robinson, Mt. Pleasant, SC